vb – (often foll by: on) to chatter or babble pointlessly or at unnecessary length
n – pointless chat; chatter
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014
So I’ve been scanning Tumblr for the last thirty minutes, struggling with my first WWW in weeks. Sharing Tuesday Teasers is one thing because I’m showcasing story I’ve already written. But writing off the cuff personally has been tougher for me lately. Those of you who have been following my blog the last few months know I’ve had some pretty intense family and real life situations to deal with. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and had double mastectomy a couple of months ago. Since my folks moved in with us a year ago and I work from home, I was the logical caregiver to help her road to recovery. It was tough for Mom but I wouldn’t trade the opportunity to help her rebuild her strength and do my darndest to help rebuild her confidence.
A couple weeks after her surgery my dad fell off a ladder and dislocated and also broke his shoulder. My husband was able to take him to ER, then follow the ambulance to a hospital three hours away for a specialist. While my dad spent a week post-op in recovery, we took turns helping mom at home and driving the six hours to and back to check in on Dad. And then after bringing him home we readjusted to help give him the best environment to re-coop with home health.
A couple of weeks after Dad’s fall and surgery, my husband was heading out of town and got into a major wreck. The car was totaled and everyone on the scene was amazed he walked out of the car with just a few big bumps and scratches. I had to grab my toddler and drive three hours to pick him up. After we made it home my car stopped working.
I used to be a very emotional person. Not to say I haven’t felt the weight of everything, but at this point I haven’t cried or let myself dwell too much on it. I’m twenty-nine years old and I’ve experienced my own personal tragedies in the last five years that I feel helped prepare me for this year. Also I have tried to keep everything as much in perspective as possible. After all, we all have our health (relatively lol). My mom’s cancer hadn’t spread past the tumors they were able to completely remove. My dad is already able to play piano again (no Warsaw Concerto yet, but he’s working to get there.) My husband is recovered enough he can go back to work again. And we managed to find the money to fix my car. A lot of people face much worse than I have faced this year.
Writing Tamn, third in my Heaven’s Edge Novellas series helped keep my mind off everything. Diving into a fictional world with characters battling worse issues than mine seemed to help with that whole perspective thing. And then there were my books. I read and read and let my mind escape more than usual. There were days where we all just tried not to thing too hard about anything, just go and do and be and remember “it can’t eat you” so no need to fuss.
I suppose that’s the difference between facing things as an overgrown child (in my case) and facing things as an adult. Maybe even six years ago, I would have journaled and introspected the heck out of my situation, analyzing emotions and waxing poetic. I grew up slower than some of my friends and I was raised in a family that encouraged us to dig deeper on the why’s behind actions. When I went through my miscarriages, I still journaled about things, partly to keep myself from dipping into a funk. But something changed after I was able to carry my son to term, since becoming a mom.
I remember hearing older women speak about how things change when you become a mom. At one point I was convinced I wouldn’t ever marry or have children, and somewhat took offense to that. Almost like I was going to miss out on something not having children. I didn’t really want kids until I realized I might not be able to have them. After having my son I felt the very steel and overpowering love they talked about fill my soul, all for this tiny person. I would carve myself into whatever I needed to be for him.
Maybe that’s the secret, why I never felt too overwhelmed through my family’s struggles this season. I’ve been tested and tried in the past, reforged by the birth of my son. I felt a strength beyond me to be confident for my mother, encouraging for my father and supportive for my husband. Through it all I’ve still played and sang and read to and been mom for my boy. And all of this is just life. I see this more clearly at twenty-nine than ever before. Life is a messy, wonderful, difficult thing. But it can also be what you make it. I believe that.
You can choose to give into despair and grief for life as you wish it could be, or you can accept your life and do your best to make it the best life possible.
Live your one life today, the best way you can and you’ll have no regrets.
“I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
–Excerpt from “The Summer Day” by Mary Oliver
from New and Selected Poems, 1992
Beacon Press, Boston, MA
Copyright 1992 by Mary Oliver.
All rights reserved.
So, I planned to speak more about my upcoming book releases. In short, that novella that helped me fill the tougher days I described above is up for pre-order on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes and Smashwords. I’d love if you took a glance or added it to your Goodreads. Tamn is third in the Heaven’s Edge books, but you can read it as a stand alone too.
AMAZON | SMASHWORDS | iBOOKS | BARNES & NOBLE
Also, check out my book page for She Walks in Moonlight, a brand new Contemporary Romance about second chances in family and in love, also available for pre-order on Amazon. The tropes will be familiar, but be prepared to expect the unexpected along the way. Oh and lots of gorgeous man and a little bit of unapologetic heat.
For more exclusive inside info see the book page for She Walks in Moonlight. Includes excerpt, playlist and more.
Goals for this week
Finish writing Silver Hollow Part 3.
Prepare blog posts for new releases.
Get back into the social media swing.
“How to Format Your Book For Kindle” – TCK Publishing (for that time you need to save a few extra bucks, or in my case, put more into editing & proofreading 😉
“We Wear Culture” – Google on “The Stories Behind What We Wear”
“Book Marketing: How to Promote a Book” – Resources from Writer’s Digest