I have not done very much updating here lately. That was in part due to our loverly company we’ve had staying with us the last two weeks. But it was also in part because I’ve had some tough health issues the last couple of weeks. I won’t go into detail about the what/why/when’s but suffice to say I’m finally starting to feel like myself again.
Grief is something that takes you by surprise, especially when you were surprised to begin with. But it always sneaks up on you. Several times this past week I’ve struggled with the why’s of our situation. Truth be told there are no definitive why’s. Sometimes you don’t get the answers you want or even an answer period. And that can be a difficult thing to deal with. I’m super blessed to be surrounded by family and friends who have just been there. And above all a husband who reminded me just how much I love him, even if he has a slightly unhealthy gaming obsession ;p It’s hard to describe to you something I’ve decided not to fully divulge and something I’m still processing.
I’ve been such an emotional roller coaster in my struggle to keep calm and keep in control in a situation I couldn’t control. It has allowed me to rely more on God as well as admit to my husband I’m not as strong as I pretend to be sometimes. As my sister reminded me, there is a reason for this. She encouraged me with a verse out of the Book of Psalms, chapter 140, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night, Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.”
I know I’m not the only one facing a difficult situation right now. As we try to heal I hope and pray you keep faith. That you remember the dark is like light to God. Which means He can guide us out of even the darkest nights of our lives. And you aren’t ever alone.
Tonight I’m going to drink some hot tea and write more of the Vynasha and spend time with my husband. I’m going to try doing the things I love to do and hopefully find more reasons to smile. I hope you are able to do the same 🙂